February 13, 2008
Jana's Diet Secrets
Yesterday I picked Karsten up from a friend's house on my way home from work. Riess' mom said, "I never see you at the gym anymore." Me, "yeah, I haven't been going to the gym." She asked me, "where are you working out now?" Me, "I don't." That's when she said, "well you must have a fast metabolism because you are so thin." My answer, "no, it's not that I have a fast metabolism..." She wanted to know, "what is it then?" Me, "I just haven't been eating." She looked at me a little funny.
This is when I realized I should write a diet book! Or really, just a diet blog post because I only have about two paragraphs worth of content.
Occasionally my gut gets fat. Sometimes even my thighs and the back of my arms might jiggle but I probably have never been "fat" by American standards. But sometimes when my breast to stomach ratio starts inching out of proportion I find myself magically thinner again thanks to uncommon "diet" techniques.
So here you have them: Jana's Diet Secrets. I really should write a book, sell it for $14.95, show up on Oprah and make millions but I'm too busy for all that so here you go, my friends, FREE dieting tips!
1. Have your husband cook dinner on a regular basis. This is my most recent diet. Andy and I are both thinner because of it. He has been doing the grocery shopping too so he just buys unappetizing prepackaged food. Instant diet when the food is suddenly less appealing than home-cooked meals. We're both just eating less.
2. Take medication that you have to take on an empty stomach at night. I'm a snacker and when I took some medication that I had to not eat before or after taking it cut down on my caloric intake. That was my 2004 post-baby diet.
3. The Tooth Loss Diet. Read this previous post to learn more about this radical diet.
4. Lactate. I don't think men are wired to do so that is a shame. Do you know that when you're pregnant you're only supposed to eat an extra 300 calories a day? After the baby is born you can bump that number up to 800! Think of lactating as another form of bulemia... wait, maybe that's not a good thought. Anyway, lactating really takes of the pounds fast.
5. Husband out of town with two small children diet. It is hard to feed yourself when you're busy feeding two kids who don't like to eat. Plus when you are so tired your options may be food or bed. Bed seemed to win out during this early 2005 period.
6. Move to Europe and get rid of your car diet. Even better, move to Amsterdam with a 4 floor hike to your flat and have two small kids you have to either push around in a stroller or on a bike. This diet not only melts away the pounds it firms up the flab! And best of all this diet is probably the most enjoyable and recommended diet by Dr. Jana. Eat all the hot dogs you want!
I can't think of anymore tips. See, good thing I didn't try to write a book. Oprah never would have put such junk on her show.
Posted by jana at 9:15 PM | Comments (1)
January 4, 2008
Resolutions..schmezlutions
I hate resolutions because I see it as setting myself up for failure. I don't want to make my life any more complicated than it already is but every year I reluctantly take on a few...but then try not to sweat it when I blow them all by January 15.
Que the drum roll
The biggie: Take a photo every day of this year.
Here is today's photo. I know I already take a gazillion photos but I think this is what it is that is going to take me to really learn how to use my camera. Just today I discovered an "indoor setting" and ya know, my indoor photo looked oodles better (see above). I'm embarrassed to even post my so far quite lame photos but public humiliation could be the key to success here. If anything I'll have a little document of 2008. If you're interested in learning more about this project here's the link I found: http://photojojo.com/content/tutorials/project-365-take-a-photo-a-day/
The smaller goals: have my kids floss every day. So far I bought them some mini-flossers. Woo!
Eat less sugar (but not less cheese).
Some how I agreed to Buster's Health Month on Facebook and because I don't want to spend 30 minutes trying to figure out how to un-enroll myself on Facebook I'm still listed as participating. But no way. What would I eat? Have you seen the block of cheese in my fridge? Here is the list of rules so you can see why I would decline this torture:
Part A. The banned list.No Alcohol
No Smoking
No Caffeine
No Drugs - doctor-prescribed stuff is ok, as is Advil or whatever for those 'week 2 headaches,' but nothing else.
No "Big Bread" - this basically means no bread/bagels/muffins/etc. But, a pita is ok, and so is a tortilla.
No Red Meat or Pork - giving up bacon really sucks.
No Pasta
No Cheese
No Sugar
No Chips / Crackers
No Cream / Cream Sauces
No Artificial Sweeteners (aspartame, saccharin, etc.)
No Fried Foods
No Butter / Margarine
No Fast Food
No added salt - you can cook with salt, but no dumping table salt on you food after it hits the plate.Part B. The allowances.
Light salad dressing is allowed on salad - hey, if i'm going to eat a freaking salad...
Small portions of Rice are allowed - for things like sushi, or a wrap can be "light on the rice"
Only enough Oil to cook with is allowed. About 1/2 tbsp per serving (less if possible)Part C. Amnesty Day.
We are human, and sometimes we mess up. With health month, this is built in. You get one 'Amnesty Day' for the month. This means that for one day, you can have One of the things on the banned list. So, if there's a party you want to go to during HM, you can use your amnesty day then and have a drink. Or if you have a crazy sweet tooth, you can have a piece of cake at the end of week 2, as a halfway point reward.
And that's all folks.
Posted by jana at 10:39 PM | Comments (2)
November 6, 2007
I was on NPR (KUOW)
I called in to give my idea for a "green business plan" and I was on the air.
My idea was to recycle hospital waste (i.e. pacifiers and surgical equipment) by selling it to hospitals in developing nations. Hospitals could partner with universities for training. The hospitals make money from their waste and developing nations benefit from better tools.
This was one of my ideas for hospitals that I had when my kids were in the NICU and I saw how much waste is going on at the hospitals.
Anyway, the guest speaker didn't have a comment because it was out of her area of expertise.
Oh well. Feeling like one of those dorky people who call in to radio stations now.
Posted by jana at 1:33 PM | Comments (1)
October 7, 2006
To prove or not to prove
I've found that if I stay home and keep cleaning my house it will stay clean.
Hypothesis: People with clean houses are boring.
Posted by jana at 12:29 PM
June 7, 2006
Real world or virtual?
Fortune favors the fearless.
This is the quote that showed up on my tea bag last night.
I'm not sure the quote applies to buying the local scrapbooking store unless the definition of "fortune" is being your own boss, doing something you love and bringing creativity into others' lives -- and not making much money for who knows how long.
In other news, the first company Andy and I started, WeddingChannel is being bought by our old rivals The Knot for $57.9 million. No, we don't have any stock left, so don't ask me to buy you anything.
The doctor thinks Britta might have strep throat.
Posted by jana at 9:02 AM
June 6, 2006
I had to ask
The local scrapbooking store is up for sale. Fantasies of working in the real world started going through my head. Instead of tweaking CSS or hunting the web for reusable javascript I could use my cropping tools, paper and glue! I could talk to real customers and teach scrapbooking classes. So I had to email the scrapbooking store to see if they'd want to talk to me, and they do. Tonight!
Andy doesn't like the idea at all, and really I know nothing about running a real world store. It will be interesting just to find out more information though.
Posted by jana at 10:52 AM
January 8, 2006
Dare I keep the dream going?
Two weeks into my old world of working, running Karsten to preschool, coordinating childcare, holding down the fort while Andy conquers the mobile world, I remember now that my life here is crazy. Just before I almost let myself get sucked back into being crippled into immobilization by daily craziness I let myself dream and threw myself a few liferopes.
1. Maybe we should move. I can't believe I'm typing this. I'd resolved that I'd die in my house but just maybe we could really live in our dream home. My mind is already trying to determine where the hot tub should go. I mentioned this to Andy this has started him scheming too.
2. I could start my own business. I have a meeting next week with a potential partner.
3. I could move to Scotland. Yes, I know, Scotland! Probably wouldn't have a hot tub or a view of Mt. Rainier there but it would keep the travel adventure alive. I emailed our development center there and yes, they do need a part-time designer.
4. I can be more creative in my daily life. Amber got a letterpress and I've already invited myself over for play time.
But maybe I'm just being selfish by dragging my kids along with my crazy dreams and ambitions. A diatribe of Robbie H runs through my head, "I am done with Gen X women. Women born in the 70s were raised to believe they can have it all but really they can't." Yes, yes, this is probably just Robbie's way of justifying dating girls barely legal but still sometimes, even if I cringe to admit it, he does have a point.
My life is good but maybe it could be great if I don't get too scared to keep dreaming and moving.
Posted by jana at 5:50 AM
June 12, 2005
My best idea in months
The second book in a row I'm reading is on middle eastern culture. I still can't remember why Mohammad's cousin Ali is important. And the difference between a Shi'a and a Sunni Muslim is...?
So here is my idea: Middle Eastern Flash Cards.
Brilliant, huh?
Posted by jana at 9:49 AM | Comments (1)
January 26, 2005
Timely read
Perfect article for my new year's resolution of attempting to invest in socially conscious companies.